Huh....today is 18 September. Po Po is one year old already. :)
We two met outside as the first time on 18 September last year. I still remember that day is Saturday. It was very funny that he wore like a gentleman and I wore a childish suit at that day. :))
The place we met is Starbucks at Singapora Plaza near Dhoby Ghaut MRT. I noticed that he was excited to talk to me. But, I was not excited and felt no strange to him at all. I felt very familiar to him like we two have known each other long time ago. And one more strange thing is that I didn't also shy at all. :D
He gaved me Po Po as a present and I gave him a red color Diary and a book named "YOU CAN IF YOU THINK YOU CAN" by Norman Vincent Peale.
Actually he wanted to go back together with me from this place. But, I denied and asked him to go back separately because I thought it's not suitable to take the bus or train together with a guy who is not related with me anyhow. He sent me to the bus stop and he went back by train.
He requested me to compose a poem for him and he composed a poem for that day titled "A Starry Saturday Evening". :)
Since that day, I always put Po Po near me and hug him in my arms whenever I sleep. By doing so, I feel like he is always near me because I think he gave me Po Po as a clone of him. :)))
Today is 17 August. Hmmm....It has already been exactly one year :). I still remember very well about 17 August, 2010 which is an unforgettable day in my life. Why is it unforgettable??? Ok, I wanna tell a little bit about that day.
At the time when he loved me secretly, he composed about the moon and sky as the metaphors for one girl in his poems. I noticed the girl is who by reading his poems, but I just kept quiet like I didn't get any sense.
One day, he unexpectedly told me about him that there is a girl at his hometown whom he agreed to get married one day by the arrangement of the parents. As soon as I had known about that, I decided to disconnect him because I thought I should not stay with him friendly anymore. By keeping contact each other too long, it would happen only sufferings for both of us. I thought about that and I avoided him.
In these moments, he sent mails to me by composing the songs for me and he wrote that he waited me online everyday and requested me to chat with him once I was available. I felt very sorry whenever I received like that emails from him. But, I didn't do that.
Amazingly, on 17 August 2010, he posted a poem on facebook. I really can't forget that poem and the event at that night. After I've read this poem, I was willing to tease him something regarding the poem although I decided not to chat with him at all. Is it a miracle to fall in love with him that I can't control to break my promise to myself? I started to make a chit-chat with him. He was very happy and then he spoke out that the moon in his poems, the metaphor for the girl he loves, is me.
This is unbelievable. I thought we can never meet each other outside at all. I thought we have no chance to show up what we feel about each other. But, finally, he can show up all his feelings about me and I can accept all as well. How a wonderful thing!!!
I'll never forget about this and actually I want him not to forget too. But, I think he might forget now all the events at that day because he can't even remember anything when I asked him about a special thing he did in the month of August. I'm not sure the memories of a person depend on gender or the extent of love or that person. However, I don't blame him about it. I understand that he has his right to keep in his memory just what he likes to. It's enough for me if I never forget about that day and I'll keep all these events as the unforgettable memories in my life.
And one more....although it has been a long time already that he doesn't say the word "I love you" to me, I wanna say.... :)
We have finished talking through phone just now. He is very busy these days and doesn't really have long time for rest. He has to reach work by 6 am and hence he needs to wake up very early in the morning. His job is very stressful and makes him tired everyday. That's why we have no time to have a long conversation on phone, online and we can't even meet each other too.
In this morning, when I received a message from him, I was too worried if anything happened to him and called him immediately. He just explained me about the nature of job and that the room he stayed was very hot and made him sweat a lot. But, we couldn't talk too long during the working time. We can't talk well at lunchtime also because I want him to get a short rest after having his lunch and don't want to disturb him.
Actually, his work should be over at around 6 or 7 pm. However, he had to stay and work until 10:30 pm. Moreover, he has to get up early tomorrow morning. How pitiful he is? I want him to get a good new job and don't want him to get tired anymore like that. If possible, I want to share his tiredness to me. I'm so sad for him and miss him much too. Keeping this feeling in my heart, I have been listening only one song entitled "Miss You Like Crazy" the whole evening.
~~~Even though it's been so long
my love for you keeps going strong
i remember the things that we used to do
a kiss in the rain till the sun shines through
i tried to deny it, but im still in love with you~~~
~~~i miss you like crazy, i miss you like crazy
ever since you went away, every hour of everyday
i miss you like crazy, i miss you like crazy
no matter what i say or do
there's just no getting over you~~~
~~~i can see the love shinning in your eyes
and it comes in such a sweet surprise
if seeing is believing, it's worth the wait
so hold on and tell me it's not too late
we're so good together
we're starting forever now.~~~
~~~and i miss you like crazy, i miss you like crazy
ever since you went away, every hour of everyday
i miss you like crazy, i miss you baby
a love like ours will never end
just touch me and we're there again~~~
~~~just one night
and we'll have the magic feeling like we used to do
hold on tight
and whatever comes our way we're gonna make it through~~~
~~~if seeing is believing, it's worth the wait
so hold on and tell me it's not too late
we're so good together
we're starting forever now.~~~
~~~and i miss you like crazy, i miss you like crazy
Whenever and whatever I experience in my days, he is the only one I remember first and want to share all my feelings whether it is good or bad. I want to share with him everything I've got. And one more thing I'm willing to know is how he feels whenever he tells me that he loves me. But for me how I feel at that time is all like that!!! :)
I wanna call the stars
Down from the sky
I wanna live a day
That never dies
I wanna change the world
Only for you
All the impossible
I wanna do
I wanna hold you close
Under the rain
I wanna kiss your smile
And feel the pain
I know what's beautiful
Looking at you
In a world of lies
You are the truth
And baby
Everytime you touch me
I become a hero
I'll make you safe
No matter where you are
And bring you
Everything you ask for
Nothing is above me
I'm shining like a candle in the dark
When you tell me that you love me
I wanna make you see
Just what I was
Show you the loneliness
And what it does
You walked into my life
To stop my tears
Everything's easy now
I have you here
And baby
Everytime you touch me
I become a hero
I'll make you safe
No matter where you are
And bring you
Everything you ask for
Nothing is above me
I'm shining like a candle in the dark
When you tell me that you love me
In a world without you
I would always hunger
All I need is your love to make me stronger
And baby
Everytime you touch me
I become a hero
I'll make you safe
No matter where you are
And bring you
Everything you ask for
Nothing is above me
I'm shining like a candle in the dark
When you tell me that you love me
You love me
When you tell me that you love me.....
Actually, I have posted this song on facebook at the day when I confirmed we are lovers. But, today is Valentine Day and we two got very sweet evening by giving presents to each other, having dinner together, talking a lot & making jokes about each other. We really got an unforgettable evening in this sweet Vanlentine Day of 14 February 2011 and I wanna save this song at my online diary as well for rememberance. Thus why I post this song here again!!! :)))
"MY SWEETHEART, I ADORE YOU & LOVE ALL THE THINGS YOU GIVE ME!!!
If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you....
If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you....
And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
You're all i need
My love, my valentine....
All of my life
I have been waiting for
All you give to me
You've opened my eyes
And showed me how to love unselfishly....
I've dreamed of this a thousand times before
In my dreams i couldnt love you more
I will give you my heart
Until the end of time
You're all i need
My love, my valentine....
La da da
Da da da da
And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
Cuz all i need
Is you, my valentine....
When he told me that he's got to pass through many difficulties to come to me, I want to encourage him not to give up his attempt for whatever he really wants to be. I want to say him a lot of words, but I was worried my words cannot express fully my feelings about him. That's why I posted a song and all the things I want him to know were represented in this song. :)
Many nights we've prayed
With no proof anyone could hear
In our hearts a hopeful song
We barely understood
Now we are not afraid
Although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains long
Before we knew we could
There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe
In this time of fear
When prayers so often prove(s) in vain
Hope seems like the summer birds
Too swiftly flown away
Yet now I'm standing here
My heart's so full I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words
I never thought I'd say
There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe
They don't (always happen) when you ask
(Oh)
And it's easy to give in to your fears
(Oh...Ohhhh)
But when you're blinded by your pain
Can't see your way straight throught the rain
(A small but )still resilient voice
Says (hope is very near)
(Ohhh)
There can be miracles
(Miracles)
When you believe
(Lord, when you believe)
Though hope is frail
(Though hope is frail)
It's hard to kill
(Hard to kill, Ohhh)
Who knows what miracles,you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will(somehow,somehow, somehow)
somehow you will
You will when you believe
You will when you
You will when you believe
Just believe...in your heart
Just believe
You will when you believe~
I'm just an ordinary gril. This blog can be said my online diary and I write about whatever I feel, like and love. I'll not try to get attention from the people regarding me and this blog.
All the visitors who reach here accidentally or intentionally are warmly welcome and your time for my diary is too much appreciated. :)
